I seem to be a beacon to every guy with a foot fetish on these sites this is now my 5th message on a dating site regarding my feet. I have no problem with this but perhaps when using a dating site save the foot worship for the 2nd or 3rd message? Just a thought. Though at least this one is quite well spoken.
“I am a firm believer in Female Supremacy. I would be grateful in giving a long unhurried foot massage to a Goddess like you. When you come back home, after all the stress in the day, why not just call your slave and let him take care of your divine feet. I am discreet, and i worked in beauty parlour serving women, doing foot massage and pedicure. i beg you, please use me. There is no charge for my services, i feel very passionate about being subservient to a Goddess like you. For me, real paradise is under divine feet of a Woman.”
This post is not going to be a witty one the most recent dating site moron might actually be the most rude, uneducated, ignorant, small minded, racist…yes I said racist, human being I have EVER had the misfortune to be contacted by. He has sent me three messages only the last of which I have replied to, to inform him of what a pathetic excuse for a human being he really is. So ladies and gentleman I am sorry to introduce you to Sandman2784 from Alabama USA.
What a cunt.
1) “Whats that rather large animal your strattling ever so cautiously? Swearing? Who the fucking son of a shit face donkey ass eating mother of a bastard bitch whore cat do that? Said my grandmother.”
2) “What is there to do in London? I am thinking of going to there. I know traffic sucks. Rats avout shit. Dont care about historical stuff”
3) “you make a good horror queen. I know any girls tattooed freaks me out. Your not bad looking for English. I hate all these fat disgusting women here and all the interracial daters. I am fun and a clown but if something pisses me off i know it. Fat women are gross right? Your just creepy cause your trying to be. But your still very sexy”
Just a quick message to say I have created Dating Site Morons its very own twitter account @D_S_Morons follow for more little tidbits of joy I share with you from the world of internet dating.
I got this email yesterday from someone whose profile says they are 30 for a start so there is the first lie.
“Hi, i am a 28 yrs n live in NW London. I would be very happy if we chat and satisfy ur high sex drive. i LOVE satisfy women and being satisfied. I live alone in a one bedroom flat. If you are interested you can accommodate urself with me for sometime.
I am clean and trust worthy.
IF I DONT SATISFY YOU THEN CALL ME GAY.
I hope we will have a nice time”
Although it is good to know that he is clean and trustworthy I just don’t think I will be accomodating myself with him. Perhaps we can just skip the disappointing sex and I will just call him gay now, not that there is anything wrong with being gay… maybe I will just call him pathetic instead.
Firstly apologies this update has been a while in coming for a while there was a slump is weird and freaky messages. Luckily for you (not me) the dating site morons seem to be back in force.
So to get us started here is a message I received last night:
“Hello! how are you? i like much your profile! I’m looking girlfriend who get me CUCKED. I want be cheated on and cuckolded, I love the idea of being cheated on by a girl with Black men.. I would never cheat back.. I’d want to cook for her, clean for her , pay the bills, etc.. I am good looking too… I am white handsome, atractive and good muscle body. seems like any girl would love this kind of relationship.if you are interested in it?? i’d love to get to know you!!”
He wants to get cucked?! is that even a thing? It is certainly the first I have heard of it. Any girl would love this kind of relationship? Really? Have you asked them? Because it is certainly NOT the sort of thing that I am after… so pass.
Next:
“U do sound great , u really do but have u seen my profile u will find out I want?
How is ur Easter wkend going so far then ?
And yes I so dam like u but I also would like to find a best best mate too..”
Are you drunk? High? Scarily after a quick look at the profile this one lives less than a mile from me. Fingers crossed he never recognises me.
And onwards:
“What sci fi are we talking here?seen all 79 episodes of star trek original series??
likewise with horror films,are we talking the classics like from the 30’s and 40’s or are you a 70’s horror fan??
horse riding,do you like western movies?”
Now it may be just me but this guys message is just screaming pretentious twat.. I get the impression anything you say to him is met with a sneer and some some smug answer. It’s the way he words it “are we talking the classics… or” meaning anything he doesn’t rate is not worth rating. Not the usual dating site moron but I shall be avoiding him none the less.
And to finish up:
“Hey there this is from two firemen fancy messaging back me want to pound you!”
Where has the romance gone? and he/they seem to turn a little caveman by the end of the sentence.
Haven’t updated here for a while I haven’t been feeling particularly motivated.. until today when I received this:
“I would like for you to tease me, fuck my as s with strap on, ride my cock, then shit on my hard cock and wank me off. 1 hour, booking, filmed if you will let me. Can you let me know the price for all of this? X”
I can only conclude from this that this man has watched so many porn films that it has warped his tiny mind. Not only is he quite clearly a rather sick puppy (shit on your cock?! I mean really what the actual fuck?) but he seems to have confused a dating website for a place to find dirty whores for hire (Which FYI I am not).
Also 1 hour for all that? Seems a little rushed if you ask me.
It would seem that with the passing of Christmas more morons have come out of the wood work. Now I recently changed what my profile said as it had become obvious that no one actually reads it, so for the sake of this post this is what is currently all my profile says:
“Well after being on this site for a little while it has become apparent that no one actually reads this bit of the profile. A friend of mine has suggested that I could probably just put “I’m a batsh*tcrazy necrophilic smack addict who loves strangling puppies - and you’re next on my list.” And I would still get messages…”
Keeping that in mind I logged on today to find these little delights waiting for me.
Mannn…you still looking?? pffft…hmm not accepting messages this short hehh? ok sdfghjkdfghjsdfghjasdfghjksdfghjsdfghj”
That man has floored me with his literary abilities… really I think he should write a novel or stab himself in the face or something…
“
I got recognised before xmas in a pub by someone on the dating site, however considering he was wasted, missing 2 front teeth and a chav I smoothly denied all knowledge and sent him on his way, he responded with “sorry but I’m desperate” (winner) much to my friends amusement. They were even more amused when I informed them I was in fact on the website he had recognised me from and he was not just a drunk idiot.
Bring on new year!
I received this lovely message this evening -
ok to save wasting time & effort writing a long message, here’s my pic. if u like what u see let’s chat
Totally overwhelmed by the romance.
~Hayley~
Well today I got home to find this delightful little message in my inbox:
“
becoming a ‘porn star’ is definitely not one of the career moves I am trying to make.
No sir I do not want to star in your UP and COMING movies.
What I want to know is does this really work? Do girls actually reply to this with.. “well Christmas is coming up and I could do with some extra cash…..”
